Finally Home
by Dr Carby
Summary: ok...number 1, it's a carby. number 2, i suck at summaries. number 3, Abby left... now she's back. Last Chapter Uploaded
1. Planes n Things

Disclaimer: I don't own them...life sucks. A/N: Sorry if the story sucks. I thought it was pretty good. Or at least the best one on my computer. This is like my 7th attempt at fanfiction, so.uh.yeah. Just review it and tell me what you think.  
  
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Wow. A whole three years. Three years since I left that dump that one *might* call a hospital. I call it the best thing that ever happened to me. The place where I met the love of my life, my best friend, actually. all of my friends.  
  
But it's also the worst because it's the place where I lost him. I left because he did. He left to go play 'jungle doctor' without saying anything. That really pissed me off. I know he was angry and upset with me for the whole incident at his Gamma's funeral. Hell, I was angry and upset. But that night he told me to leave him alone. I knew we lost the whole thing right there. I know I always told him to leave me alone, to run away, but he knew I never really meant it. But that night, he meant it.  
  
It scared me to see him that way. With all that anger and hate in his eyes.  
  
Then he left.  
  
So I left.  
  
And now I'm here. In Boston. It wasn't until I got here did I find out I was pregnant. It was difficult, but I knew I wasn't gonna get an abortion. Not with Carter's child. He's almost three. Just a couple more months to go. And of course I'm lucky enough to have my little boy look exactly like his father. Dark brown hair to match his dark brown eyes. That adorable, goofy grin.  
  
Brandon Carter Wyczenski. I had to do it. Name him in some way after his dad. After all, he was the most important man in my life. But now the most important "little" man is Brandon.  
  
But I think it's about time for them to meet. Carter may hate me, but he needs to know his son. First, he needs to know he has a son. Then they can get to know each other.  
  
I gently stroke his hair. He loves that. Carter used to like it too. "Brandon. Sweetie, it's time to get up."  
  
He moans a little baby moan and his eyes flutter open.  
  
"C'mon, baby. I've got a little surprise for you today."  
  
He looks at me, gives a little yawn, and says "really?"  
  
"Really, really. But you gotta get up and get ready." With that, I get up and head to the bathroom and start a bath for him. I see him slowly make his way to me, his pajamas and hair are equally rumpled. "Brandon, we need to go a little faster than that." I say with a laugh.  
  
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"Mommy, where are we going?" I look in my rear-view mirror to see my energetic little boy trying to get comfortable in his car-seat. He's got a sippie-cup in one hand and M & M's in the other.  
  
"Sweetie, um, we're gonna take a little trip. to, uh, Chicago to see a couple of my old friends."  
  
"Why?" I knew this was coming.  
  
"I just miss them. And I wanted them to meet you."  
  
"Why?" Damn, he's like two. Isn't he a little early for the 'why?' stage.  
  
"Because you are very special, Brandon." I look in the mirror again and he's smiling.  
  
A couple minutes later we pull into the airport parking lot. Brandon's never been here before so he's looking all around, trying to see everything all at once. "Mommy!! Mommy! Look!" I glance at the huge airplane taking off down the runway. Well, at least he isn't bored.  
  
Don't forget to review... 


	2. Well It's Not Chuck

Disclaimer: Yeah. I don't own them. If I did, do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction? Hell no. I'd be selling them there ideas to Mr. Crichton. lol  
  
Summary: Ok, just to tell you what's goin' on.Abby left when Carter went to the Congo. When she got there, she found she was pregnant. Now, three years later, she's taking Brandon to go meet his father. See? Not that much.  
  
A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed. Now I know how good it really does feel. Thanks again...  
  
Now. to the story!!! *points finger to sky and pretends to fly*  
  
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He is so beautiful. Especially when he sleeps. He looks just like Carter. But, I hope he doesn't get all of Carter's tendencies. Like leaving abruptly, running away from his problems. He probably will though. It's in his blood. I can't say much. I mean, I ran away too.  
  
I haven't talked to him since that night before he left. I was just so mad at him for leaving like that. But, I'm not sure if I have all that anger still. I mean, look at what we've created. A happy, energetic, fun, little boy. My little Brandon. His little Brandon.  
  
I watch him as he sleeps. His head is slightly tilted, his mouth open just a little. I'm just about to get a pillow for him when the pilot comes on the intercom and tells us to return to our seats and buckle up because we have reached Chicago.  
  
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After we've gotten off the plane, rounded up the suitcase, and flagged down a taxi, we head to the hotel. I figure once we get there, I can call Susan and catch up with her. I tried to keep in touch with her, but, I was trying to start a new life in Boston, and then Brandon was born. I never told her I was pregnant. I guess I was afraid she'd tell Carter.  
  
Brandon is still asleep when we pull up to the hotel. I guess he isn't very energetic on trips. Is that a good thing?  
  
I pick him up and carry him with me to the counter so we can check in. The lady at the desk tells me that we have room 214.  
  
As we're leaving, she adds, "ma'am? How old is he?" She's got a smile appearing across her lips.  
  
"Almost three," I say.  
  
"Well, he is adorable." I nod a thank you and return to the car to get our suitcase.  
  
"Brandon, sweetie, you gotta walk for me." I say as I rub his back to try and wake him up. "C'mon. It's only a little ways." I set him down and he yawns. I hand him his little Taz book bag and help him put it on. It takes a little while, but we eventually make it up to room 214.  
  
Once we're there, Brandon is wide awake. We finally get the door open after like ten minutes because Brandon wanted to do it. The room is like any other hotel room, two double beds, a TV, bathroom, a crib. I roll the suitcase out of the doorway. Brandon climbs onto one of the beds, finds the remote and presses every button until the television comes on. He's very smart and amazes me everyday. Just like his dad used to.  
  
I figure now would be a good time to call Susan and tell her I'm in town. I sit down on the other bed and pick up the phone. I've never really forgotten her number, so I dial it. I hope she still lives there. It's been three years, not that long. right? Not that much can happen. can it?  
  
Yeah, right. I had a kid for God's sake.  
  
After about four rings, someone answers. It's a man's voice, doesn't sound like, Chuck.I quickly put down the receiver. "Shit!" I look at Brandon. He looks at me. "Mommy didn't say that, sweetie." He nods and looks back at the TV.  
  
Oh my God. I could have sworn I called Susan's number. didn't I?  
  
I pick up the phone again and redial the number. Again, the man answers. "Hello?"  
  
".Luka?"  
  
"Speaking. Who is this?"  
  
"Uh." I'm speechless. "Um, hey Luka. It's Abby. Is Susan there?" 


	3. What Are You Laughing At?

Disclaimer: They still aren't mine.  
  
A/N: Thanx again to those who reviewed. I'm still really sorry about the whole Ch. 2 mix-up. Please keep reviewing so I know if I screw up again.  
  
Off to the story we go.  
  
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"Hi, Luka, it's Abby. Is Susan there?"  
  
The line is silent for a moment and then he starts talking again, "Abby?" What did he forget? "Wow. It's been a while. How are you? Is everything okay?"  
  
Guess he didn't forget. "I'm fine, Luka. Um. are you at Susan's apartment?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." I knew I had the number right. Wait- that means- "Would you like to speak with her?" -Luka and Susan?  
  
"Yeah, please." A smile creeps across my lips at the thought of them. Together. I hear some rustling in the background and after a moment, Susan gets on the phone.  
  
"Abby?!!?! Is that you?"  
  
"Hey, Susan. How are you?" I start twirling the phone cord with my fingers.  
  
"I'm okay. So, I haven't talked to you in like three years. How are you? Is everything okay?" I can just picture her face.  
  
"Yeah, everything is fine." I pause for a second. There's one question I gotta get the answer to. "Um, Susan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are you and Luka-?" That guy really gets around.  
  
I can hear her give a little laugh. "Well, yeah. Kinda, um, yeah." Now I'm the one giggling. Brandon looks over at me giving me a look that says 'what are you laughing at?' But then his show returns from the commercial break and he turns back around.  
  
"That's great, Susan." Iswitch back to serious mode. "Listen, I have something to tell you, and it's really complicated. I think I'd have to tell you in person. Can we meet somewhere?"  
  
"Sure. Do you remember that coffee shop a couple streets down from County?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How 'bout we meet there in like, a half an hour?"  
  
"That sounds great, Susan. Thank you so much."  
  
We say our good byes and I hang up the phone. I look at the alarm clock on the nightstand. The bright red numbers show 4:57 PM. I have to meet Susan at that coffee shop at 5:30. That gives me enough time to feed Brandon and maybe go to the park or something with him.  
  
"Brandon?" His head turns to me. "You hungry?"  
  
The next chapter should be up soon. The rate for how fast this thing gets up really depends on how much homework I have every night. Thanx to everyone who's reviewed so far. Don't forget this chapter! 


	4. You Know, The Coffee Shop On The Corner

Disclaimer: It really doesn't matter how many times you rub that little gravy bowl and pretend it's a lamp, you still never own ER.  
  
A/N: Look, I kno it's not a Carby yet, but I promise it will be. Soon. Very Soon. This might be a little confusing. It switches POV. I'm not telling between who, cuz ur about to read it. Thanx to u guys who reviewed- again. I luv u guys!!!  
  
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go Abby go!!!  
  
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We walk into the coffee shop and find a booth near the back of the small shop. Brandon is still starving because who was I kidding? A half an hour to get a two year old ready, fed, and to the park? What was I thinking?  
  
I knew this was a bad idea. Coming to the coffee shop with Brandon when he hasn't eaten since the beginning of the plane ride. It's okay though. He's been a good little boy today, so I think he deserves a muffin or at least a cookie. I'll get him real food after we leave.  
  
A few minutes after we sit down, the waitress appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and asks if we would like anything to drink.  
  
"Uh, can I have milk for him? And, I'll, uh, wait for my friend." She nods and leaves us there to wait for Susan.  
  
"Mommy, why are we here?"  
  
"You remember when I told you we were coming here so that some people could meet you? We're meeting one of them. Her name is Susan and she will be here real soon, okay sweetie?"  
  
"Okay. Mommy, I'm hungry." He rubs his belly and gives me a small smile.  
  
"I know, baby, but as soon as she gets here, I'll get you something." Just as I finish saying this, I look up to see Susan standing right there.  
  
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I round the corner to the coffee shop and look at my watch. Great. I'm late. Again. I open the door and make my way in. I don't see her anywhere. Maybe I'm at the wrong shop? Maybe she's at the wrong shop? Just as I'm about to leave, I see her, in a booth all the way in the back.  
  
What could she have to tell me that's so important?  
  
Why couldn't we do it over the phone?  
  
The one thing I have learned about Abby is: never question her actions. She does things the way she does for a reason. I don't know the reason. But I feel I should respect it anyways.  
  
I head to the back of the little café and as I get closer, I can hear her talking. She doesn't have a phone to her ear. I'm assuming there's someone else here?  
  
She lifts her head up and we immediately make eye contact.  
  
"Hey, Susan." I can tell there's some hesitation in her voice.  
  
"Hey, Abby." I redirect my line of sight to the little boy next to her. Then my eyes slowly make their way back to Abby's face.  
  
"You want some coffee or something?" I nod and sit down in the booth across from her and the boy. He is a really cute little kid. "Um, Susan," she starts again, "this is my son, Brandon."  
  
Son? Well that would make a lot of sense as to why he's sitting here, coloring in one of his books. "That's great, Abby. It really is."  
  
Who am I kidding? 'That's great, Abby. It really is' No, it's really not!! Does she know what this is gonna do to Carter? Does she know that he hasn't been the same Carter since she left? Does she know that he hasn't gone out with another woman since she left, just hoping that one day she'd come home? Does she know that she left him heartbroken?  
  
And then she shows up with a kid?  
  
God!! That little bi- "He's Carter's."  
  
"Carter's?" My eyes shoot to hers, and then once again, move to the boy.  
  
She nods again and buries her face in her hands. For the first time since I got here, I hear little Brandon speak.  
  
"Mommy, why are you crying?"  
  
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I knew this was gonna happen. That's why I chose the booth in the very back of this place. I knew that I was going to sob and cry like I always do. Whenever I think of him, anyway.  
  
Carter has his own special place in my heart. A place no one else can occupy. Brandon's place sits right next to it. Sometimes I sit up at night and cry because I miss him so much. Then I look at Brandon and see part of John, and I know I'm never without him. But it hurts to know that I may never have that special John-and-Abby relationship. I may never get to lie next to him, or listen to his sweet nothings in my ear, or just be able to steal little glances when I think he's not looking. But he was always looking.  
  
I turn my head to see Brandon looking at me. He looks scared. He's never seen me cry before. I never let him see me cry before. Then I look at Susan. She's got this new little glint of happiness in her eyes. Her face is still pure shock, but the happiness is there now.  
  
"I'm sorry, Susan. I didn't mean to start crying like that. I bet that's one thing you didn't miss, huh?"  
  
She smiles and answers, "You'd be surprised how many times a certain someone came to me in tears."  
  
"Really?"  
  
She nods and then looks at Brandon. "He looks exactly like him."  
  
"I know. Acts like him too." That coloring book is really keeping him occupied. "I need to tell him. Today."  
  
She nods her head. "Do you want me to come with you? I could watch him for a while if you need me to. You probably don't want to expose him to his dad's temper so soon, huh?" She laughs as she says this and I nod.  
  
After a few seconds, the waitress appears again, with his milk and asks if I was ready to order now. She takes a really long time for a cup of milk. I change my mind and decide not to get anything, and I guess Susan does too.  
  
Brandon quickly finishes his milk and I pay the waitress. After a minute or so, all of Brandon's coloring stuff is packed up and we are almost out the door when something catches my eye.  
  
This chapter was a lot longer than the other ones. Don't expect too too much of this. Because this chapter was so long, it took me longer to post it. Sorry to leave you hangin like that, but I gotta have more chapters. LOL Don't forget to review. 


	5. Not Good, Not Good At All

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm still writing this story, what does that tell you?  
  
A/N: It's got another POV switch. Thanx you guys so much for all ur support throughout this whole story.  
  
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Okay, this just happens to be the worst possible situation right now. As we're leaving the coffee shop, I look back just to make sure everyone's with us, when I see him. He's ordering something from the counter. How did I stay in this place so long without seeing him?  
  
How did he not see me?  
  
I guess I wasn't really looking for him.  
  
But, sure enough, there he is. Susan sees him too and I can tell she's just dying to call out his name and make him look over here. That's just how Susan is. But we all know that.  
  
What should I do?  
  
Should I go over there?  
  
Probably.  
  
Am I gonna go over there?  
  
Probably not.  
  
I look at Susan for a little help. Of course she's already running her eyes back and forth, from him to me, trying in her own special way, to get me to go over there. I look at her and shake my head. There is no way I'm going over there. And she's nodding 'oh, yes you are!'  
  
" Mommy? What are we doing?" I look down at Brandon. His eyes are wide and giving me a questioning stare.  
  
"Uh, nothing, sweetie, let's go." I take his hand and start out the door.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
Oh my God. I'm not ready. I can't see him now. I can't explain it to him now.  
  
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The coffee is good here. It's a lot better than that dump, Doc Magoo's. But the place is different. There are no memories here. Nothing to reminisce about.  
  
I've been thinking a lot about her lately. More so than usual, I guess. I think of the good times, and the bad times too. But I can't stay hooked on those too long or I get upset. Probably because it's been about three years since I lost her. The only good thing in my life. The only thing worth living for. Abby.  
  
I haven't gone out with another woman in that time. And that's probably because no other woman can live up to the standards Abby has set. And also because I don't want anyone else.  
  
I really wish she would come back. I could make everything right. Fix things. I have it all planned out. But it doesn't seem like she's ever gonna come home.  
  
And I love her. I don't think I ever told her, but I do. I really, really do.  
  
My coffee comes, and I'm pulled out of my daydream. As I pay for it, I hear a familiar sound. I turn to see her standing by the door. With her, is Susan and a little kid. And that's not Susan's kid.  
  
I study her for a second, just to make sure I'm not losing my mind here. She takes the little boy's hand and starts to head out the door.  
  
I can't stand it. "Abby?"  
  
She turns around and our eyes meet for the first time in three years.  
  
Don't forget to review. I know this one's real short, but the next chapter will be longer. I promise. 


	6. Fathers and Sons

Disclaimer: It's kinda the same as all the other ones.  
  
A/N: I dunno how this is gonna work, but I'ma try and make the chapters longer. I'm kinda mad cuz you guys don't like my cool little short ones. But that's okay. I forgive you guys.  
  
Anyways... here we go...  
  
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"Hey." There's an obvious uneasiness in my voice. I should feel uncomfortable. This is weird. I wasn't ready to see him today. I said I was. I lied. I'm not ready. I change my mind.  
  
"Hey." I can tell he's uncomfortable too, but then I see a small smile creep across his lips. Maybe I'm completely wrong. "It's, uh, it's been a while."  
  
I nod. "Yeah."  
  
"Mommy?" I look down at Brandon. Wow. Now I really see the resemblance between them. I don't know how I'm going to explain this one. It's complicated because Brandon knows he has a father named John. I don't really know how to introduce Carter without saying John; and if I do call him Carter, then he would wonder why I didn't call him John. I guess I'll just have to go with whatever my mouth decides on. This might not end well.  
  
"Baby, this is another one of my friends I was telling you about. His, um, his name's John." That was easier than I thought.  
  
Brandon's head immediately shoots up to look at Carter. He gives him a long, judging stare. I don't know who he got that one from. Probably Eleanor. Then, after a few seconds, he asks, "Are you my daddy?" Maybe it wasn't so easy.  
  
Now Carter's head shoots to me. His eyes are wide. I'm willing to bet he wasn't ready for that one. All I can do is nod. I want to scream and shout it to the world. But I can only nod at this particular moment.  
  
Brandon can't see me nodding back here. His eyes are still locked on Carter. Carter's are still locked on mine. And Susan is just kinda here. She isn't doing much of anything except for making this even more uncomfortable than it already is. Not that I'm complaining.  
  
After a moment or two of silence, Carter breaks his death stare from me and looks at his son. Brandon is just being as patient as I've ever seen him. Carter kneels down so that he's eye-level with him and simply says, "Yeah."  
  
Brandon's eyes light up and he practically jumps on Carter, giving him a huge hug. Carter is taken aback by Brandon's sudden movement, but after a second, he reaches around him and returns the hug. He gives Brandon a little kiss on the forehead.  
  
What is the word I'm looking for here?  
  
How about.. Um, Wow. Here are the two most important people in my life. My son and Carter. Carter and his son. Our son. Brandon Carter Wyczenski. And here they've met for the first time in an entrance way of a coffee shop. Maybe this wasn't the best place in the world for them to meet.  
  
The important thing, though, is that they did meet. But I do think we should go somewhere for them to get to know each other. I look back at Susan and I see that she's crying. Tears are slowly making their way down her cheeks. I don't think she notices it though. Then again, I didn't notice, until now, the tears making their way down my cheeks also. Who wouldn't cry?  
  
"Carter?"  
  
He lifts his head up and looks at me. "Yeah?" It looks like his eyes are a little watery too.  
  
"Can, uh, we go somewhere more private?"  
  
He looks around, realizing that we are, indeed, in the middle of a coffee shop, and nods.  
  
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We're in a cab, on the way to Abby's hotel room. I can't believe this. It is absolutely and completely amazing. I'm a dad. I am some little person's father. God, I have so many questions for her, for him too. But I'll have to wait for him to wake up from his nap. She told me his name. It's such a good name too. Brandon. I wonder if we would have named him that anyway. Like, if we were together when all of it happened.  
  
I've missed so much if his life already. I guess it kinda makes me sad to think I will never have those years with him. But, on the other hand, I guess I'm pretty lucky to have him now.  
  
We are almost to the hotel when Abby taps me on the shoulder. I look at her and she points down to the sleeping form between us. He is adorable. His eyes are dark brown, like mine. His hair, also like mine, is a kind of curly brown. It's not too curly though.  
  
It was always my dream to have Abby as the mother of my kids. Have her as my wife. I know I'm really getting ahead of myself here, but maybe one day, we'll be able to have that relationship again. Maybe we'll have our own little family.  
  
If that time ever came, I know I'd be the happiest man on the face of this earth. The whole universe, probably.  
  
The cab pulls into the loading area in front of the hotel. I get out first, just as Susan is getting out of the front seat. I hand her some money for the fare and she pays the driver. I look back in to see Abby trying to get Brandon to wake up so she can also get out.  
  
"Abby," I whisper to her. "Can, uh, can I take him?"  
  
She looks at me and gives me a smile. "Yeah, sure." She whispers back.  
  
I reach into the backseat and pull Brandon's sleeping form to me. He barely even stirs as he rests his head on my shoulders. This is amazing. I know it seems like a relatively normal action between father and son, but this is the first time I've ever experienced it.  
  
And I love it.  
  
Don't forget to review.  
  
A/N: I'm not sure, like I said, when I will be able to get the next chapter up and running, but it will be ASAP, I promise. This one came so quick because I was practically done with it when I gave out that A/N. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and thank you guys so much for supporting me and this story. 


	7. God Those Eyes

Disclaimer: Okay, I'll do one just because I haven't done one in a while. They aren't mine. Well..Brandon is. But Carter and Abby and Susan aren't. So, there you go.  
  
Author's Note: Hello all of my angry people. I have returned from my hiatus with another chapter for this long and forgotten fic. I am so sorry about the delay. Honest. And I want to thank Perry Berger for getting me off of my lazy butt and transferring the chapters from one computer to the other. So thank you Perry.  
  
Just go ahead now..  
  
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We exit the elevator and head down the hall to her room. Brandon is still asleep on my shoulder. I don't ever want to let him go. I could hold him like this forever.  
  
We reach her room and she unlocks the door. This is a pretty big hotel room for just her and Brandon. It's a suite that has a foyer with a couch and a TV. And past the French doors, is the actual bedroom with a bathroom and a crib.  
  
"Lay him down on the bed in the other room," she instructs. I make my way into the bedroom and gently lay him down. Another first for me. Putting my son to bed. I pull his blanket up to his chin and give him a soft kiss on the forehead.  
  
With the way our relationship was going, I never thought this day would come. I never thought I would have a child with the one woman I truly love. I had always hoped and prayed it would happen, but the last few months of our relationship hadn't been too great. Then I was stupid enough to leave for Africa instead of staying to try and work things out with her. That was probably the worst mistake of my life.  
  
I sit down on the side of the bed and gently stroke his dark hair. Maybe this little guy will bring me and Abby back together again. Maybe he's our own little cupid.  
  
I look up to see Abby and Susan standing in the doorway. Susan's got tears in her eyes again and Abby has her hand over her mouth like she's trying to keep herself from crying too.  
  
I stand back up and walk towards the two of them. I figure the last thing I need right now is Abby crying. That would only make me feel worse. We head into the foyer. Abby and I sit on the couch and Susan sits in a chair on the other side of the small room.  
  
"So, Carter," Susan starts after a minute, "what d'ya think of little Brandon?"  
  
I look at her. "What do I think?" She nods. I turn my head to Abby. "I think he's perfect. Absolutely perfect. And I love him, God knows that." I stop for a second. "But it is kind of overwhelming, though. I mean, this morning, I didn't even think I'd ever see you again. And now.." Abby looks away from me to her hands. I move my thumb to her chin and make her look at me. "And now there's this little boy that's part of me in the next room sleeping. I love it. I love him. There aren't any words to describe it." Now she smiles at me. Susan's smiling too. But, I don't think she ever really stopped.  
  
After a moment, I start again. I really don't want to do this right now. Things are starting to look better. But I know I have to do it. "I do have a question though." She hates this question and answer thing. I know that. But, it's the only way for me to get anything out of her. And she knows that. So, I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.  
  
"Okay." She gives a weary smile now. "Go ahead, I guess."  
  
"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"  
  
She looks to the floor again and I don't get an answer.  
  
"Were you gonna tell me?"  
  
"Carter-"  
  
"Were you going to tell me?"  
  
"Of course I was, John. That's what I came back here for. I know I've kept my secrets from you and ducked out of your questions, but I would never, never, keep something like this from you." She stops and I'm about to say something when she starts again. Her voice is considerably lower. "Everyday I look at him and see more and more of you in him. Just by the little things he says or does. So, I came back here so he could meet his father and maybe spend some time with him. Because I know how important it is for a kid to have their dad. And I wanted to give you the opportunity to be his father. Someone he can call dad. But if you don't want to, then we can leave and you can get back to your life here."  
  
"Not want to spend time with him?! Abby, he's my son. Of course I want to spend time with him. How could I not?" This time I lower my voice. "I want to be his father. I love him. How can you think I didn't want to be there?"  
  
Carter's right, Abby." Ah, she speaks! I forgot Susan was still here, over there all quiet. That really isn't like her.  
  
"Look, all I'm saying is if he didn't want to, I just wanted Brandon to meet his dad."  
  
"Abby, I want to be there for him. For you. I want to be his dad, okay? I'm not going anywhere."  
  
She laughs. "Look what happened last time you said that."  
  
"I know." I look down at my hands. "But last time was different. I have more to lose now. And I know that probably sounds really corny considering all I lost last time. But, I really am sorry, Abby. It was a really sucky thing to do." I look back up at her. "And now Brandon's here.. I'm here, Abby. I promise. I really, really do."  
  
^^^^^^  
  
God. He really does feel bad about leaving. And the look in his eyes. I don't think I've ever seen any more remorse in anyone's eyes before. I just want to wrap him up in my arms. Try and make everything go away. It won't though. It'll never go away. I thought he left because he was pissed about the whole funeral fiasco, and mad at me because I always put Eric first. I thought he just wanted to get away from it all. I know I did.  
  
But he really feels like it shouldn't have happened.  
  
I'm glad I feel the same way.  
  
"Abby, please. I promise I'm not going anywhere." God, those eyes. Brandon has them too.  
  
I nod and he pulls me into a tight hug. I can feel his light kisses on the top of my head, like he used to do. "Thank you." I whisper into his chest.  
  
"Everything's okay now. I'm here, Abby."  
  
"Um, you guys?" Carter's grip loosens a little, as much as I don't want it to, and I look at Susan. She's pointing to the bedroom door way, where Brandon is standing.  
  
"Hey, baby." I get up and meet him at the door where I reach down and pick him up.  
  
I carry him over to the couch and sit down. He pushes away from me and crawls across the cushions and into Carter's lap. Carter looks at me and I can't help but smile.  
  
He brings his arms around Brandon into a tight hug. "Hey, kiddo, what's wrong?"  
  
He lifts his head to look at John. "Why were you and mommy yellin'?"  
  
Carter looks at me again. All I can do is shrug. I don't know what to tell him.  
  
He looks back to Brandon. "We were just talking about some stuff that happened a really long time ago."  
  
"Oh." He replies. I glance at Susan who's smiling, again..  
  
Then I turn back to Brandon. He's got his serious face on.  
  
Then it comes.  
  
"Daddy, are you gonna come back home with us?" Oh shit. How did I not think about this? Of course Brandon would want Carter to come back home. My eyes shoot back to Carter. Oh God. What's he gonna say? Please, Carter. Please don't break this little boy's heart.  
  
Oh no. No no no no no. He's got a smirk on his face. That was never a good sign. I don't think he's too worried about hurting Brandon. He's thinking about something that's about to change our lives forever. Don't do it, Carter. Don't you do it.  
  
"He glances at me, then Susan, Then back to Brandon. "Well, I was kinda hopin that you guys would like to stay here, with me."  
  
He did it.  
  
__  
  
Don't forget to review. 


	8. After 10

Disclaimer: You want another one?  
  
Author's Notes: I believe we are up and running again. If anyone has suggestions be sure to review or email me- alienx06@cox.net  
  
Let's go..  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
It's a little after 10. Susan's gone home, and after a bunch of questions from Brandon, dinner, a quick episode of Blue's Clues, and a fight about going to sleep, Abby and I are finally alone to talk about everything. And believe me, there's a lot to talk about.  
  
She hands me a cup of coffee, then sits down on the couch. She takes a sip of hers and starts. "Carter, we can't stay here."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"We have a life back in Boston."  
  
"You can start again, here."  
  
"Carter-" She pleads with me.  
  
"Abby-" I plead back, reciprocating her tone.  
  
"Don't do that."  
  
I roll my eyes. "Abby, please?"  
  
"All my stuff's in Boston."  
  
I take a sip of my coffee, then put it on the table next to hers. "We'll buy new stuff."  
  
"All his stuff's in Boston."  
  
I look around the room and chuckle a bit. "By the looks of things, Abby, most of it's here."  
  
She laughs and takes another sip. "You have no idea."  
  
"But seriously, Abby, please?"  
  
"Why cant you come to Boston?" Damn, I knew she'd get me. To tell the truth, I'd go there in a heartbeat. I'd do anything to be with her. But I don't know if that's what she wants from me. I know I said I'd be there, but I don't know if she wants there to be an 'us.' And it really doesn't make any sense, to me at least, for me to move my whole life somewhere else if Abby isn't even going to be a part of it. But if she stayed here, I can definitely say I want there to be an 'us.'  
  
"Well, think of it this way: if you come here, you already have a home, a job, everything. If I go there-"  
  
"How do you figure?"  
  
"You can live in the mansion, and County's always looking for nurses, you know that."  
  
"Do you live in the mansion?"  
  
"Ever since you left, yeah." I look up at her. She's got something on her mind. I keep watching her, though. And after a moment, she starts again.  
  
"So, what does that mean?"  
  
I'm guessing it means you move back, but it's more for her. "What does what mean?"  
  
"What does that mean for you and me?" Oh that. Maybe she does want more.  
  
I'm a little uneasy with my response. "It can mean whatever you want it to."  
  
He puts her coffee on the table and leans back in her seat. Uh-oh. Not good. "So," she begins, "hypothetically, if I just wanted to come back as your friend, that has your kid, and lives in your mansion, you'd be okay with that?" She has a way about putting a really sucky spin on things.  
  
I shrug. "I guess. If that's what you really want."  
  
She keeps going. And, still hypothetically, of course, if I came back wanting something more, like what we had before everything started going downhill, the real John and Abby. You'd be okay with that too?"  
  
This time I nod. "Yeah, Abby. I'd be happy if we just lived in the same state. I'd prefer the latter scenario, but yeah."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"You don't have to live in the mansion, it was just an idea. You can get an apartment or something, I don't- Wait. What?"  
  
"We'll move back." She states matter-of-factly. Then she adds, "But only if Brandon wants to."  
  
Is she serious? "Are you serious?"  
  
"As a heart attack, Carter. Literally. You'd better hope he likes you."  
  
I laugh. Of course he likes me. Everyone likes me. Then it hits me. "Do you think he does?"  
  
She nods. "Yeah, I really do. I know it's only been like a day, but I think Brandon is a good judge of character. And believe me, he likes you."  
  
"Well, what's not to like?"  
  
"Oh, please. Don't get me started."  
  
I smile and reach over and pull her into a tight hug. "Abby, you don't know how much this means to me. Thank you so much."  
  
I can feel her nod into my chest. I missed holding her like this. Just the two of us. Together. It may be a little fast, but I have to know if what she said before was actually hypothetical. "Abby, does this mean we get another chance?"  
  
She lifts her head to look at me.  
  
"Another chance at me and you? Us?"  
  
She slowly responds, "Do you want another chance?"  
  
"More than anything."  
  
She leans her head back on my chest and whispers, "Me too."  
  
I bring my thumb to her chin to make her look up at me. My eyes gaze deep into hers. I lean in and gently bring my lips to hers in the softest, most tender kiss have to give her.  
  
After a moment, she pulls away and looks at me.  
  
"John-"  
  
Is she kidding me? "No, Abby. Don't start. That was right. It felt right."  
  
"I know it did, John. But, we have to make sure we're doing this for the right reasons. It's not just about me and you anymore. Now Brandon's here. If this doesn't work, I don't want to see his face. I don't think I'll be able to take it."  
  
"Abby, stop. Just stop it okay? It will work. We can make it work." I look away from her. "I know you have doubts that this will ever happen. And I know that I did that to you. I know I made mistakes last time. But, I learned from them. I learned not to take you or our relationship for granted." Our eyes meet again. "Because in an instant it could all be taken away. And it was. Because I was stupid. And I learned that no matter how hard I try, I just cant stop thinking about you. And that's because I love you. I love you, Abby. I wasn't sure back then. Then I left. And when I came back, you had left too. I was so afraid that I may never see you again. And that's when it hit me. I realized I loved you. I was in love with you and always would be. Then you came back and gave me the greatest gift in the world by making me a father." I take her hand in her lap. "And, Abby, I never want to let you go again. Ever. I made that mistake once. And I learned from it, Abby. I really did."  
  
I guess the only words to describe her face are 'woah, where the hell did that come from?' And to be completely honest, I don't know where the hell it came from. I guess it's just some of the things I've been thinking about over the last couple years. But whatever is was, or where ever it came from, I'm glad it's out.  
  
"John, I want it to work, too. I really do. But, I just want to be sure that we aren't jumping into something we cant handle. Something that will screw up Brandon. I don't him to have the type of family I did growing up. If you can even call it that. I want him to be okay."  
  
"He will be." I rub her shoulder for a little reassurance. But before I know it, she's crawling into my lap, bringing her arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest. I guess she needed more reassurance than I anticipated. But whatever she needs, I'm willing to do my best to give her.  
  
I gently stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head when she moves a little. I guess it's to get more comfortable. This couch really isn't working too well. But, soon enough I cane feel the slow, rhythmic rising and falling of her small frame signaling that she's fallen asleep. I reach over and turn the lamp off and slowly start to drift off myself when I hear a barely audible, "I love you," escape her lips.  
  
I whisper back, "I love you too," and fall into a perfect night's sleep.  
  
__  
  
Reviews make me smile =)  
  
And I really need some ideas.. 


	9. Finally Home

Disclaimer: ER still isn't mine. If it was, do you think Kem would be in the picture? Hell no.  
  
AN: Sorry, it took so long. My usual laziness and complete lack of ideas are my lame excuses. This is the last chapter. I'm starting a new fic which will probably turn out a lot better than this one. Thanks for all your reviews and support.  
  
This chapter's set forward a couple years.  
  
**** flashback ****  
  
Ugh. This is not going very well. Oh, man. How did I let everything get so out of hand? Everything was running so smoothly. Everything was going according to plan.  
  
Until a few minutes ago.  
  
Just a simple task.  
  
Breakfast.  
  
Pancakes, toast, bacon, coffee- for Abby and I- juice for Brandon.  
  
Simple.  
  
What did I do to mess this up so badly?  
  
I step away from the stove and look over to Brandon.  
  
"Daddy, those pancakes look nasty."  
  
He's sitting on the counter with a large glass bowl, almost empty of pancake batter, in his lap. Too bad there aren't many pancakes as proof of my strenuous labors.  
  
"Thanks, kiddo."  
  
He smiles at me. At least he thinks this is humorous.  
  
I reach for the box sitting next to Brandon. I flip it over to find the "quick and easy instructions," as the front of the box calls it. Two eggs, oil, milk, add batter, stir-I did all that- grease pan, cook till golden brown.  
  
Shit.  
  
Grease pan. I forgot to grease the freaking pan. I was wondering why they were sticking so badly. My reasoning was that only certain people had the special talent of making pancakes. I guess I was wrong.  
  
I look back to Brandon. He knows I messed up. I can tell. He doesn't look upset, though. "You don't get pancakes too often, do you?"  
  
He shakes his head. "Nope. Mommy doesn't know how to cook pancakes either. We go to IHOP when I want 'em."  
  
"Well, Brandon, it looks like you're either gonna have to go wake mommy up and tell her to get ready, or we can try again."  
  
He doesn't look very interested in another attempt. "I mean, we can try eggs this time, instead of pancakes. Or we can have cereal or yogurt? What do you want?"  
  
He looks at me the same way Abby does when she's making a big decision- furrowed brow, pursed lips. Who would have thought breakfast was so important? He stays silent with that contemplative look on his face. Eggs, cereal, or yogurt? Dammit, I forgot his new favorite food item-  
  
"Ketchup."  
  
Ketchup, imagine that.  
  
I smile at him. He's like addicted to the stuff. "You want ketchup for breakfast?"  
  
"Yep." I love his little one word responses.  
  
"How about you go wake up mommy and ask her if we can go get some breakfast?"  
  
"Can I have ketchup?"  
  
"I'll see what I can do."  
  
His face lights up and I lower him onto the floor. He quickly runs off in the general direction of our bedroom. I can hear the light patters of his feet hitting the stairs.  
  
****  
  
We ended up going to IHOP for breakfast. Abby thought it was sweet that I tried to make pancakes. I was still kind of upset about the grease. But what can you do?  
  
Abby got her pancakes in the end, as did I. After all that work, I was in the mood for some pancakes. Brandon, however, had eggs with ketchup. Lots of ketchup. Abby and I decided that pancakes and ketchup wouldn't end well, so he got eggs.  
  
I'm brought out of my little reverie when I feel a slight movement in my arms. I look down to see the newest member to our family. Her big brown eyes gaze up into mine and she squirms around again. A small but very recognizable smile plays across her chubby face.  
  
"Audrey, you have to sleep. Daddy has to work tomorrow." Her eyes look about the room until finally settling on something near the doorway. I look up to see Brandon standing there.  
  
"Hey, kiddo." He moves towards us. "What are you up so late for?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep."  
  
"Bad dream?"  
  
He yawns. "No. I just couldn't fall asleep."  
  
"It looks like your sister can't sleep either." He stands next to me and looks over my shoulder to find Audrey looking back up at him. "You want to hold her? I need to get another bottle."  
  
He nods and I get out of the chair so Brandon can sit. I gently lay her in his arms, making sure he supports her head. I start to leave the nursery, but before I do, I turn around and see Brandon talking really quietly to Audrey. Wow. That's really something special. Something so pure and innocent that it takes your breath away for a minute.  
  
I take a second glance and then make my way to the kitchen to get Audrey's bottle. I'm surprised to find Abby down here already in the refrigerator. "Hey."  
  
She jumps. "God, Carter, you scared me."  
  
"Sorry." She smiles and I give her a light kiss on the forehead. "What are you doing down here?"  
  
"I was hungry. I also came to look for you. Why weren't you in bed?"  
  
"Audrey was sounding a little restless on the monitor. I wanted to see what was wrong."  
  
She nods her head.  
  
"You know, I think we have a real problem."  
  
She hands me one of Audrey's bottles then wraps her arms around my waist. Her head takes its usual resting place on my chest. "Oh yeah, what's that?"  
  
"We have a house full of insomniacs." I state, completely serious.  
  
She laughs into my chest and looks up at me. "What?"  
  
"We have a house full of insomniacs." I repeat. "Everyone's awake. Brandon is upstairs waiting for me to bring Audrey back her bottle. Oh man, Abby you should have seen it. I was just about to leave to come down her and I saw the most beautiful thing. Brandon, he was holding her and talking to her. Having, like, a little monologue with her. Just playing off of her little sounds."  
  
I look at her. She smiles at me again. "I know. He does that a lot."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Usually when he doesn't think anybody is around or listening. He really loves her." I nod my head. "And here I was afraid that he wouldn't like having a new baby in the house."  
  
I give her a small kiss, and then hold up Audrey's bottle. "She probably needs this."  
  
She nods and we both make our way upstairs into the nursery. I reach the doorway first and slowly peer in. Brandon has his head tilted to one side, looks like he's fallen asleep. We make our way in, Abby's hand in mine, and stop a few feet away from the two of them.  
  
"Carter, they're asleep."  
  
I nod. I guess Audrey doesn't need her bottle after all.  
  
"Here, you take Audrey, and I'll go put Brandon in his bed." I whisper as I reach down and take my daughter from her brother and gently place her in Abby's arms. She stirs a little, but then falls sound asleep once again.  
  
Brandon is a little different. After Audrey is safely in Abby's arms, I slowly scoop him out of the chair. Man, he's gotten big. But I guess nine year olds are pretty big.  
  
I make my way down the hall and quietly enter his bedroom. I methodically step around the super hero action figures strewn about the floor and finally reach his bed. Carefully, I lay him down and tuck the covers around him. With a kiss on the forehead, I exit his room to find Abby waiting for me in the hallway.  
  
"You ready to go back to bed?" she asks me.  
  
I nod and encircle my arms around her waist and guide her back down the hallway to our room. We turn out the lamps on both nightstands and get into bed. Abby finds her typical position on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. "John, how did we get so lucky?" she asks once we're settled.  
  
"I don't know." I answer slowly. "But we are pretty lucky, huh?"  
  
She nods into my chest. "You know a long time ago, I never thought we'd end up like this. I mean, married with two beautiful children? God, John, how did we finally do it?"  
  
"I don't know, but I'm glad we did. You know, if you hadn't come back, I don't know what I'd be doing."  
  
I feel her nod into my chest again.  
  
"I love you. You know that, right? I love you so much."  
  
She looks up at me. A few soft locks of hair fall into her face. I softly push them behind her ears. "I know. I love you too."  
  
We share a soft kiss, then she lays her head back on my chest and pretty soon, I can feel her breathing deepen.  
  
I look up at the dark ceiling. My mind takes over as I'm pulled into a reflection of my life with Abby.  
  
I honestly don't know what I'd be doing if she hadn't come back. That day was one of the best days of my life. Alongside that, my wedding day, the first birthday I got to spend with Brandon, and the day Audrey was born. But nothing happening in my life now would ever have been possible if some of the things that life threw at us hadn't occurred. I realize that now. Abby and I were always meant for each other. Everything that did take place in my life led straight back to her.  
  
And now we're finally a family. My life has finally ended up where I want it to be. I'm here. Abby's here. Brandon and Audrey are here. There's nothing more I want or need.  
  
Finally.  
  
I'm home.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Author's Notes: Okay you guys. This is it. I'm done. Sorry if the chapter sucked, or didn't make sense. I thought a flashback would be kinda cool. Um, if you didn't catch it, Brandon was nine years old. And Audrey was still young enough to need a bottle and have her head supported (whatever age that is). So this chapter jumped ahead like five or six years. You didn't think I'd have a three year old upstairs, holding a baby unattended do you? Good . My next fic should be up soon, but I want to get a few chapters ahead so this whole fiasco doesn't happen again. Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it.  
  
-Allison 


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